TELEVISION PILOT

Wrote this "treatment" for a TV pilot when I was 18-years-old. I think the title was a take on the old "Take my wife" bit.

And yes, I did create that wonderful sketch at the bottom.

THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS

THE PINK ELEPHANT

Just watched TAKEN and I'm glad to see Liam Neeson beating people up again. Before I saw him in SCHINDLER'S LIST and ROB ROY (where I guess he did beat people up) I saw him in DARKMAN, a movie that is near and dear to my heart.

If only more people would share my love for this film. If only....

PATHS OF GLORY

The state of the action scene has become so derivative and stale. What ever happened to building tension in ways other than shaking the camera and cutting really really fast?

SMOOTH FACED WEIRDOS AKA HOLLYWOOD ONE SHEET POSTER HEADS

Why doesn't Hollywood want us to think that actors are human?

i(want JOHN'S)PHONE

I'm a bit addicted to my iPhone. It does everything for me. Wakes me up in the morning. Tells me the weather. Gives my the daily news. Tells me where and when I have to be somewhere. Keeps me occupied with 100's of hours of games, movies and music. Takes photographs and video. Edits photographs and video. Displays photographs and video. Keeps me connected with social media and allows me to check all of my 10 email addresses I've acquired over the years.

Sounds like a wonder gadget when you put it into words like that. Something out of science fiction.

Enter, John's Phone.

A cellphone that doesn't do anything but make phone calls. It stores its numbers in a small door on the back, on a NOTEPAD. It has 10 digit speed dial and a small display on top to see what number you're calling. That's it.

I LOVE the square design of the phone and the simplicity behind it. It looks a bit like a toy, but also something that Dieter Rams could have designed. It certainly follows his aesthetic.

"Weniger, aber besser" (Less, but better)

The idea of keeping a physical notepad on the back for your contacts doesn't seem in line with "The World's Simplest Cell Phone" header on their website, but I get what they're going for, even if it is is a bit of a gimmick.

Obviously, I would never give up a piece of tech like the iPhone for something only a PBR swilling Billyburg hipster would use to be ironic, but that's what happens when you have tech lust.

You see it. You want it.

johnsphone.com

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD (1999)

I don't understand it. How do people not love BRINGING OUT THE DEAD? It's got all the things that make Scorsese films great. Incredible cinematography, frantic editing, rock/pop music, seedy New York streets.

I'm in amazement each time I hear someone say they don't like this film. Even die hard Scorsese fans look down their nose at it. They must not realize that it's one of his top 5 greatest pictures, on par with TAXI DRIVER, GOODFELLAS, RAGING BULL & AFTER HOURS (another overlooked classic).

Don't even get me started on those jerks who don't like Nicholas Cage. Let me go on record right now. One of the finest of our time.

ONE OF THE FINEST OF OUR TIME. A lot of you will think I'm being ridiculous by writing this, some may think I'm joking, but that's because they don't understand movies. Cage is perfect in this role. A career defining character. The sunken eyed, grief stricken paramedic.

Behold these gorgeous screenshots of Robert Richardson's photography. The only problem with looking at this film in screenshots is that we don't get to see the wonders of Schoomaker's editing.

If you haven't seen this before, watch it ASAP. If you're one of those doofuses that doesn't like it, give it another shot. I'll admit, I didn't like it the first time I saw it either.

Now it's one of my absolute favorite films.

LUJON

You will most likely know this song from THE BIG LEBOWSKI or SEXY BEAST or the lesser seen, but almost as excellent film TWO LOVERS.

It was originally written for a TV show called Mr. Lucky which I haven't seen.

Either way, listen to it, and feel like you're floating on a cloud. It's one of Henry Mancini's greatest works, and according to this album cover, he's extremely versatile.

CONAN

After seeing Conan's TBS debut last night, I feel at ease.

For a few months there I thought the show would be taking on a more modern direction. Would he ditch the suit, the classic styled jazz band, the desk? But it seems that the only real change is his beard, an unshaven fuck you to the network run clean cuts we've seen after our local news for years.

See, Conan's show has always been so zany, I think these staples of the "late night talk show," while being cliche, are necessary. It gives us viewers a format we're familiar with, and throws in things like masturbating bears and traveling salesmen.

I can't recall the last time a talk show didn't have the backdrop of a city behind the host, but this ocean view on TBS is a pleasant change. Plus his orange hair is a natural opposite to blue on the color wheel! You know they thought about this. Just look at how often he wears blue shirts.

I was a supporter of Conan as the host of the Tonight Show, but I think now he may feel more at home with this smaller format. He's like the Roger Corman of talk show hosts. I'm not sure who said this, and I'm sure it was said in a more eloquent way, but I think this quote applies:

"The greatest adversary of creativity is no limitations."

I'm just hoping they bring back the Pimp Bot 5000. After all, he DOES live in LA.

IT'S LIKE, MY OPINION MAN

This weekend the Chicago Podcast Filmspotting held a special event at Cascade Drive-In. We were graced with a warmer than usual day and took in two films. THE LONG GOODBYE & THE BIG LEBOWSKI.

I had never seen THE LONG GOODBYE before and I was surprised at how much I liked it. The film's photography by Vilmos Zsigmond alone is worth a watch. Beautiful Cinemascope with what seemed to be nothing but natural light. Elliott Gould gives a strong performance as Marlowe, down on his luck and confused, always with a cigarette in his mouth and a tie half undone. He's every bit as good as Bogey, Powell & Mitchum's take on the character, in his own way of course. (I must disclose that I've never read any of the books and I've got no idea how Marlowe is "supposed" to be played).

As for THE BIG LEBOWSKI, there's nothing more that needs to be said about that film that hasn't already been said. Great performances. Great Deakin's photography. If you haven't seen it, you should. It's one of the best films of the 90's and a close 2nd to FARGO for my favorite Coen brothers film.

But you know, that's just like my opinion man.